Have you recently found yourself looking at your relationship with new and bitter eyes? If you have been struggling with the marriage and have begun to think you need to know just what must happen for a divorce, you aren’t alone.
With statistics showing that one out of every two marriages will end up in divorce, more and more couples are looking at finding a way out of a legal relationship that has run its course. So, what now? Here are three early steps you need to consider when looking at divorce as the final solution.
Talking It Out First
Of course, for many couple the first step is to get into counselling to see if there is any way that this marriage can be saved. If you have already done this, and nothing has changed, then at least you know that you made the effort to find an answer outside of divorce. Some couples will often go into counselling and take a short break from each other to give them each a bit of perspective.
Some states may consider this a legal separation. For instance, legal separation in Tennessee may be defined very differently from one in California. A divorce lawyer can tell you the legal definition and if you should need it.
Separation and Kids
One aspect you may want to consider is how the children will handle a separation. If there are no children, or they are all grown and have left home, then it will be that much easier for the two of you to do a trial separation. While many will consider this a prelude to divorce, it isn’t always the case.
Sometimes taking a year away from each other, but staying legally married, can help a couple define the problems they face and find a solution. Remember that grounds for divorce differ in each state, so be sure you understand what they are in your state before moving from separation to divorce. Angry accusations will not be helpful and your children will remember all of it, regardless of their age.
Getting a Temporary Divorce
The law is a slow process and divorce is no exception to this. Don’t expect your divorce to move forward in a smooth and orderly pace. If you have filed for divorce once the separation period has expired, the next step is discovering what the law requires for the two of you to dissolve your marriage. It may require some specific actions from you. This may include the creation of a child support document, support of one spouse by the other and even agreements on custody of the children. This is where it can get ugly, so be prepared for just about anything.
Once you have gone through these three steps you will then be ready to proceed with the actual divorce. The time it takes to prepare you and your kids for divorce, the separation while you get the rest of your life in order and the temporary divorce can all be a good stepping stone. Taking these steps along the way may mean that when it is time to get your day in court you will have all your ducks in a row, your emotions in check and be prepared to handle this divorce in a way that everyone wins.